I’m going to your funeral this weekend. I never thought I’d say that. So many unanswered questions. I’m sorry.

I imagine seeing you for the first time in years. I miss you.

I miss you. Do I have to make an excuse? You should still be here. There’s no reason you shouldn’t be here

What the fuck am I supposed to do? Why? My hands hurt

Maybe in another life. Maybe some other time. Every time I’m mad or sad or watch some stupid movie I think about it. Some days I don’t think about it at all. Some weeks my brain is empty of that feeling you leave. Some weeks I can’t fucking breathe at all it’s so suffocating. Something has to change. This isn’t working.


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